


Tit

by AnonymouslyDead



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Bird Watching, Canon-Typical Behavior, Dirty Jokes About birb names, Gen, Making fun of birb names, Richie Tozier Being an Asshole, Richie loves Eddie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:20:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22470202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymouslyDead/pseuds/AnonymouslyDead
Summary: Richie tags along when Stan goes bird watching.
Relationships: Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Tit

Richie had followed Stan around his room as he had collected his things. Then, he had followed Stan down to the park, fully aware of what Stan was doing. Still now that he was there laid out in the grass with only the sky to look at, he was ready to complain.

Richie made a sound mimicking radio static. “Paging Dr. Uris, Dr. Uris.” 

“Shut up, Richie.” Stan said evenly. He had his eyes trained into a pair of binoculars pointed up at a tree. 

“But, we have a patient here! It’s really quite urgent.” Richie said in exaggerated urgency. “The poor bastard is dying of boredom.” 

“Go bug someone else then.” Stan suggested. 

“Everyone else is busy though!” 

Stan removed his eyes from the binoculars just to roll his eyes at Richie. “You’re lying.” 

“No, I’m not!” 

“Seriously if you’re going to be like this, just go make goo goo eyes at Eddie. At least, he likes it when you’re annoying.” 

“For your information, Eds is out of town, visiting his aunt.” Richie paused for a moment before his face twisted into a scowl. “And, I do not make goo goo eyes. What am I, a girl?” 

“With the way you act around him?” Stan gave him a look. 

“Shut up! Get back to your little bird friends.” Richie shooed his hand. “Leave your real friend to die of boredom.” 

“Go bug Bill then.” 

“He has Georgie’s teeball game today, don’t you remember, bird brain?” 

“Mike?” 

“He’s still sick. Got a might case of sniffle, I daresay.” Richie said in a bad English accent halfway through. Stan pointedly chose to ignore it. 

“Ben? Beverly?” 

“Oh my god, have you seen the way Ben looks at her? It’s like a lost puppy, I swear. Poor chap.” 

“You have no room to talk.” Stan said. 

“Staniel Uris, I swear.” Richie raised a finger at him, but he didn’t elaborate. 

“What? What are you going to do?” Stan challenged. In response, Richie snatched up the book Stan had open on the ground. Stan gave him an unimpressed look. 

“Crikey, look it here. There seems to be...a…” Richie flipped through the pages. 

“Hey, quit it! I need that page!” Stan protested. He made a grab for the book, but Richie yanked it away. Richie did make sure to stick a finger into the page Stan had it on though. He wasn’t a complete asshole. 

Richie’s eyes lit up at the page. “A tit! There’s a tit!” Richie looked at Stan and wiggles his eyebrows. “Stan, I didn’t realize you were such a ladies’ man. Why did you tell me?” 

“What? You want pointers?” Stan quipped. “It’s a kind of bird, Richie.” 

“And a well endowed one. Look at that great tit. Wow.” 

“And, this is why I don’t bring you bird watching.” Stan snatched his book back, ripping Richie’s hands from the pages. 

“Well, joke’s on you. You won’t be able to find the page now.” Richie quipped back. Stan groaned, flipping through the pages until he found the page on Maine’s native birds. 

“Hey, Stan?” 

“Why do you like bird watching so much?” Richie asked, strangely sincere for once. “It’s just birds.” 

“Well, there’s more to it than just birds. There are certain types of birds that reside in Maine and then specific species that reside specifically in our area like the marbled godwit.”

“There’s no way that’s a real name.” Richie cut in. Stan showed him the book. Richie frowned. “What the fuck? Who named these birds?” 

“I don’t know, Rich. But the point.” Stan continued. “There are certain birds that live around here, but that can change during the year, whether it be from migration or other sources like humans interrupting their habitats. The real interesting part of finding a new species where it shouldn’t be and then trying to find the reason behind it.” 

“Huh.” Richie nodded, his face twisted in concentration. But then, Richie’s wandered around the park, taking in the grassy expanse. He pointed at a yellow and black bird hopping along on the ground. “What do you think is the reason for that cocknut over there then?” 

“Richie, that’s a yellow breasted chat.” 

“See? Now, we’re both just making up names.” 

“No, that’s the actual name.”

“Bullshit. You had to have made that one up.” 

“See for yourself.” Stan said. He slid him the book before putting the binoculars back to his face. He scanned the trees and skies, looking for any interesting birds. 

“Baird’s sandpaper...Redhead...a ton of warblers apparently” Richie flipped through a few pages. 

“Warblers are actually really neat. They’re small and come in a bunch of colors and patterns.”

“So what? You collect them all or something? Like Hot Wheels?”

“I’d like to see them all with my eyes.” Stan said. 

Richie nodded. “Hey Stan, you think if I found a new species of bird they’d let me name it?” 

“They’re going to name a bird cocknut.”

“No, I’d name it titmonger. A bigger, better bird than even the great tit.” 

Despite himself, Stan chuckled at the joke. “It fits at least.” 

“Hell yeah, it does.” Richie smiled. He turned his attention back to the book. 

“I’d want to name a bird something cool. Like Sunspot...or Firestarter.”

“Firestarter is a good name for an asshole bird.” 

“Yeah, I guess. Let me think.”

A few seconds passed in silence, but Stan couldn’t think of anything much better. But then, a yellow bird flew by. Stan let out an excited noise and raised his binoculars, chasing the blur as it flew. 

“What is it, Stan?”

“A Townsend’s warbler.”

“Ah. One of your warblers.” Richie nodded. He watched Stan watch the bird land on a low tree branch intently. “Hey, can I look?”

“Don’t you dare do anything stupid. They’re my dad’s binoculars.” Stan warned before handing them to Richie. Richie took them with a scoff.

“I would never, my good Stan.” Richie huffed. He then proceeded to pretend to throw them. Stan punched him in the arm but still pointed out the warbler when Richie fit the binoculars against his glasses. 

All in all, the day proceeded surprisingly nicely. They joked and chattered between taking turns spotting birds with the binoculars. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comment what you think and hit kudos if you liked it


End file.
